


on my knees

by rainbowpetals (necessarymistakes)



Series: 'so awkward' [2]
Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Breathplay, Canon Compliant, Choking, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:49:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23680348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necessarymistakes/pseuds/rainbowpetals
Summary: Honestly, all things considered, Taeyong is really into Baekhyun's cock.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Lee Taeyong
Series: 'so awkward' [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1705183
Comments: 24
Kudos: 194





	on my knees

**Author's Note:**

> Well...where do I begin. I do not know how this got to be so long. Blame it on Taeyong's big anime eyes. Why did I take notice? I just want everyone to know that this is _really_ self-indulgent.
> 
> While it is not necessary to have read the first part of this..series (?) I do make some references that will only be understood if you read it, but not understanding those references, I don’t think, will not make this fic hard to understand.
> 
> As always, I thank [Keiko](/users/opinionoutpost/) for always reading over my work and not being afraid to call me out on my laziness. All existing errors are my own.
> 
> Annd, I want to thank Quaya because it was the prospect of her reading this that motivated me to keep going. 😌
> 
> Also disclaimer: there is a brief moment where a character talks about discovering their sexuality as "disorientating". Please know that this could be seen as a moment of internalized homophobia.

Safe. 

They play it safe at the beginning of their relationship. 

Baekhyun can tell that Taeyong has things to work through, things to figure out—Baekhyun knows from his own experience how disorienting it can be to come to know and accept attraction to men, especially when they’ve lived their whole lives being told that they can only want women, like women… _love_ …? 

It’s visible in the way Taeyong pulls away from their kisses to catch his breath, in the way Taeyong’s eyes look away from his, searching for a reason to stop. Baekhyun knows Taeyong can never lie to him if their eyes meet, so he says nothing. It’s fine, really it is. Baekhyun never thinks of pushing him, knowing that there will be time to do all that he wants to do with Taeyong. If Baekhyun was younger, he might be callous, but he’s no longer a teenager, and that really makes all the difference. 

Eventually, he does ask Taeyong if he’s been in a relationship before, and Taeyong jerks his head forward, an awkward nod. 

Baekhyun does not smile, but he does add, “With a man?”

Taeyong does not look at him when he shakes his head, looking somewhere over his shoulder, and Baekhyun is tempted to see if one of his members walked in, but he knows that’s not the case. 

He jumps forward, startling Taeyong, and, when he has him in his arms, he says, “That doesn’t matter, okay? You and me are okay. You and me are a new page waiting to be written.” These words, these cheesy words—Baekhyun knows—pull an embarrassed laugh from Taeyong, setting his face on fire. 

Baekhyun kisses his hot forehead, and Taeyong rests his head on his shoulder.

Almost every moment they get to be alone, they kiss and touch each other, their hands wandering down their shoulders, chest, and hips. Taeyong initiates most of the kisses, and Baekhyun drives them forward, stealing the air from Taeyong’s lungs as he licks and explores the mystery that is Taeyong’s mouth. 

They still stop once the kiss threatens to cross that line that Taeyong is not ready to cross yet. At least Taeyong does, and Baekhyun never pushes for more, letting Taeyong set the pace.

At first, Taeyong is relieved, as much as he really likes kissing Baekhyun, he’s not ready to do more than that. It’s so weird to feel this way, out of his depth— _new—_ but he is also captivated, enamored, caught like a butterfly on a flower, and doesn’t once regret being this close to Baekhyun, to be able to hold him and be held by him. 

He is all but a planet. 

His relief lasts no more than a month—maybe less—because the more they kiss, the more the intensity and fervor of their kisses grow, and awaken a hunger that Taeyong did not know he could possess for another person, a man at that. In almost no time, he’s ready to do more.

He thinks about it (dreams about it), and before he can overthink it, shares it with Baekhyun.

Taeyong is surprised (maybe also a tiny-bit jealous) that Baekhyun knows exactly what he’s doing when he brings Taeyong to orgasm the first time he touches his dick, long fingers sure and capable as they move from the base of his cock and slide to the crown, thumbing the slit to to rub the precum, smearing it. He finishes off Taeyong with lube, making it messy and wet. It’s all Taeyong can do to hold on, his swollen lips falling open in spite of him not wanting to make any sounds.

_“_ Just like _that_. Be loud. I want to hear you.”

It’s outrageous that he comes no sooner than that, biting out a shout as Baekhyun’s lips list upward, eyes full of an emotion that makes Taeyong hot all over, sparking goosebumps all over his body. He can’t wait to see what more he and Baekhyun can do. 

That look on Baekhyun’s face is imprinted to the back of his eyelids and makes Taeyong blush just to think about in the most inopportune times. He blushes when his eyes meet Baekhyun’s in the mirror during their SuperM dance practice, the focused look on Baekhyun’s face reminding him of that way Baekhyun looked at him as he came. He blushes when Mark tells a story during their NCT 127 weekly group meeting and talks about the shouting match Donghyuck and Jungwoo got into back at SM. 

“They were so loud! You could hear them down the hallway! It was insane!” Mark says just as loudly.

Everyone laughs, Donghyuck looks proud, but all that Taeyong hears are the words “loud” and “hear” in Baekhyun’s voice. And just like that he’s once again thinking of his last time with Baekhyun and blood rushes to his face. 

He coughs out a “Yeah!” when Jaehyun asks if he’s okay. 

“Is Taeyong spending the night? Sehun asks Baekhyun just as he passes him in the hallway. Baekhyun continues walking to the stairs after sparing him a glance, neck burning at the question. 

“You should just answer me!” Sehun bellows after him. 

Honestly, the fans do not know how loud Sehun’s voice can get because Sehun is never this loud on camera. Baekhyun wants to tell him that he looks ugly, staring at him like that, eyebrows pinched in a scowl, but he doesn’t slow down or else Oh Sehun will sense weakness and might actually follow him into his room, and...well he’s not ready for that conversation. 

The last words he hears before he closes his door are, “Byun Baekhyun that just makes things worse if you say nothing! What am I supposed to think now? WHY WON’T YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION?”

Baekhyun locks his door and waits for a rattle of the door knob. 

He startles when Taeyong peeks from underneath the covers. He’d fallen asleep as they watched a movie, and Baekhyun had used the time to take a shower. They both had long days, both having spent it at the label with their respective groups. 

“Was that Sehun-hyung?” Taeyong asks, mouth cracking into a yawn. The glow of his bedside lamp illuminate Taeyong’s face, washing out the sharpness of his cheekbones, making him as soft as a corgi puppy. 

Baekhyun’s heart wobbles, but he doesn’t let Taeyong’s adorableness distract him from what Taeyong said, what he called Sehun. He pouts, turning on his own lethal cuteness toward Taeyong. It’s been said that this face is like staring into the sun. Taeyong doesn’t stand a chance. 

Taeyong laughs, obviously caught off guard, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” But the smile doesn’t slide off his face, and Baekhyun knows Taeyong likes it when he is cute. And Baekhyun likes to indulge Taeyong in any way he can. 

Once he finally joins Taeyong under the sheets, Taeyong kisses the edges of Baekhyun’s pout while resting on his elbows on each side of Baekhyun’s head. Taeyong deepens the kiss this time and Baekhyun slips his fingers under Taeyong’s oversized T-Shirt, settling on the dimples of Taeyong’s back. 

When they finally come up for air, Taeyong says, against his lips, “You should know by now that you’re the only hyung for me.” 

Taeyong giggles as Baekhyun’s cheeks turn red. 

Embarrassment will not deter Taeyong. Especially, when he’s never been more sure of anything in his life. 

Being touched by Baekhyun this way does not stave off the hunger he has for Baekhyun. To also touch Baekhyun. Unsurprisingly, their 19+ moments increase it, this hunger, which is great for the moments they get to spend with each other; their gaming sessions almost always end with Baekhyun’s hand on his dick, each stroke dissolving Taeyong's inhibitions like they never existed. His embarrassment disappears _so_ easily. He forgets about being ashamed of being _so_ out of control. Baekhyun strokes him, _teases him,_ fingers feather light and rough, until he’s a whining mess, letting Baekhyun know what he wants. Begging for what he wants. 

Something different happens the last time they are together. Baekhyun lays him down on the couch as they kiss, and instead of taking Taeyong’s dick in his hand, he lowers his pink mouth to the tip of Taeyong’s reddened cock, slurping the crown past those _oh_ _so_ pouty lips. Brown eyes hold him captive, and he lets Baekhyun do what he wants even as he slowly loses the ability to form a coherent thought other than _Oh my god._

Blood roars in his ears as he forgets to breathe, overwhelmed by the image Baekhyun makes with his lips stretched around Taeyong’s dick as Baekhyun swallows more of him. Baekhyun’s mouth is so hot and greedy that Taeyong has no control over the sounds that tumble past his kiss-sensitive lips. 

Taeyong bites down on his bottom lip, to try to catch his breath because the look on Baekhyun’s face, of pleasure, as he sucks him, heightens everything Taeyong feels, a tide of emotions, making it hard to do anything but whine high in his throat.

Taeyong is beside himself, his orgasm unfurling beneath his skin.

When Taeyong comes, his toes tingle, and he feels weightless. Euphoric.

But crossing that line, beyond only kissing, is torture when reality comes knocking as Baekhyun’s solo schedules start piling up on top of his, making it hard for them to see each other at all.

In what seems like a blink of eye, the times they get to see each other turn to zero. 

Taeyong does his best to ignore the need to see Baekhyun because he can’t do anything to change it. They’re idols. He knows this, has known this—he knew this when he confessed to Baekhyun that being his junior, his friend, was not enough. And he knew this, when Baekhyun reassured him that he wasn’t the only one who felt this—electricity… _chemistry—_ between them. 

_I like you, too._

They’re idols. Their lives are not theirs most of the time. And he used to revel in that—in the opportunity to make music, to perform, to see his fans, but now, it also feels unfair. 

He misses Baekhyun. For more than just sex. Obviously. But Taeyong is still Taeyong even when he’s an idol. And like any young man his age, Taeyong is curious when it comes to sex. (He’s horny.) How could he not be when his boyfriend is no other than Byun Baekhyun himself?

Taeyong spends countless nights watching porn with the audio loud in his earphones, learning what he wants to try. These images become part of his fantasies. 

_I want to suck him off as well,_ are the first thoughts that form after watching Baekhyun take him in his mouth, after Baekhyun sucks him off like his life depends on it, cheeks oh so very flushed. 

_I want to do that, take him in my mouth, lick him like a lollipop._

He flushes at the thoughts, but that doesn’t stop him from watching a video of a man, on his knees, getting his mouth used by another much bulkier man. The wet sounds the bulkier man punches from the slender guy’s throat as he increases the speed and strength of his thrusts shocks Taeyong, almost grosses him out, even while it fascinates him. He watches the way the slender guy’s face reddens as tears stream down his face. It’s like watching a car crash, but he still feels lust simmering in the middle of his stomach, feeding that hunger where he stops thinking, stops caring about his inhibitions. 

_I want Baekhyun to_ _choke me. I want him to make me gag. I want him to use me_. 

He wonders what that would be like. He wonders if his face would be as wet with tears, saliva, and cum as the man’s. Taeyong is breathless at the prospect, even if he is mortified as well. Still, he is eager and impatient. He’s ready to try out all his fantasies, and he can’t stop himself from imagining how it would be if he could share all these wants with Baekhyun, who has never once judged him for the questions he has or the things he wants to do, who never once pressured him to do more that he is ready for. 

So, it sucks so, so much that he can’t even see Baekhyun these days that are full of recordings, fittings, and practices. His days begin really early and end really late, leaving no time for even talking on the phone. But there’s a silver lining, he thinks, because he uses the dance practices to work off the _itch_ in the middle of his chest because now, if he’s lucky, Baekhyun will respond to a message Taeyong sends him, and if he’s really lucky, Baekhyun is the first to message him. 

Baekhyun wonders what happened to the quiet, innocent faced junior he first met, the junior he wanted so badly to befriend. Baekhyun wonders why he decided to tease Taeyong after a long day like this because now the one who is hot and bothered is him, and he can’t go home yet. 

It has been a long day full of photo shooting for his album. Baekhyun had looked forward to dressing up and getting his makeup and hair done because he could finally embody the emotions he wanted to convey visually. However, shootings always take too long, may it be the weather or a hair out of place, but he has never minded the time he spends in front of the camera because he always wants the best shot. However, his body does, especially, now that he’s older, although he will never admit it. At least, when he’s shooting with EXO or SuperM, he’s not alone and can joke around and ignore his fatigue.

They had been nearing the fifth hour, and Baekhyun had just changed into his fourth outfit when he’d taken a moment to go into the restroom and had caught a look of himself in the mirror. 

His blue dress shirt had been unbuttoned while his dark hair was artfully tousled, away from his forehead. His make-up was minimal, black eyeliner bringing focus to his eyes’ natural color. 

This outfit was to convey the alluring but romantic feel of the boy next door, to convey that the man who had been there all this time could also be the one to make the “girl” in his songs happy. He was trustworthy. He was hot. He was the man of her dreams.

Maybe it had been the bright lights and the way they reflected on the black tiles of the restroom, but he’d been thinking two things as he gazed at himself in the mirror. The first thing was that he didn’t look that bad. For the first time, in a long time, he could also see what his fans all said: he was hot, attractive, boyfriend material. The second thing he thought was that if this outfit was to convey to his imaginary female lover that he was here, then it was necessary for Taeyong to see him as well. 

He took out his phone, adjusted the angle, gave a sultry look and snapped the picture. After he approved it, he’d sent it to Taeyong with the message, _What do you think?_ and had then turned off his phone. 

It is now when he’s about to meet with his manager back at the company that he turns it back on in the van. His eyes almost bug out when he sees Taeyong’s response to his message. At the sudden heat in his face, he turns off the screen. 

All he can think of as he walks to the elevators to get to the third floor is of the message Taeyong sent him: 

_You look devastating. See how you make me?_

Attached was a photo of Taeyong on his bed with his dick in his hand and his fingers in his mouth. 

It’s the end of the first month since NCT 127 started preparing for their comeback when Taeyong finally finds himself alone in the dorm. Some members decide to go visit their parents before they come back while others have decided to spend a few days away. 

It’s night, and he settles against his pillows, breathes in deeply and exhales, wills himself to relax and his mind to go blank. As he settles and starts to melt into the sheets, his mind wanders and a thought bobs to the serene surface.

Heat rises to his cheeks as his heart speeds up. He swallows but does not open his eyes.

His mouth feels empty with only his tongue inside of it.

But he does not allow the thought to take complete form, instead he slides his hand down his chest, tweaking his nipple, pinching the bud and digging in his nail. Something Baekhyun would do to hear him whine, and Taeyong huffs. It’s still so surreal sometimes that he and Baekhyun are this close, where Taeyong knows the sounds Baekhyun makes when he comes and the sounds he makes when Taeyong comes because of him. 

Taeyong loves that Baekhyun always knows what he wants to do when they touch each other. Almost, like…Baekhyun thinks of ways to make Taeyong crazy when they’re not together.

He whines. 

The dim light in his room is an orange glow behind his eyelids, and he imagines that he’s not alone. That Baekhyun sits at the foot of the bed, watching him as he touches himself, his heavy gaze focused on him. Only on him. 

His dress shirt is unbuttoned, leaving his golden torso uncovered so that Baekhyun can also tease Taeyong. Long fingers splay across his chest. Those long fingers that Taeyong also wants in between his lips, heavy on his tongue.

It makes Taeyong shake. 

It’s been tiring, preparing for the comeback. The nights he’s actually slept in his bed he has fallen asleep the second his head has touched the pillow. No time to do anything more than to sleep. Even in his dreams Baekhyun has avoided him, fatigue making sleep dreamless.

But tonight, he can indulge in touching himself and making himself come.

Taeyong brings the hand that is not on his chest to his mouth. He imagines the way Baekhyun’s eyes would become much heavier as Taeyong laves at his index and middle finger. He presses his fingers down on his tongue, and he surprises himself by the moan that spills from his lips imagining them to be Baekhyun’s much longer ones. 

Baekhyun would be rougher once he realized how much Taeyong enjoyed having his fingers in his mouth. He’d add his ring finger and thrust his fingers in and out rubbing against Taeyong’s tongue, wetting Taeyong’s lips with every thrust. And he’d push deeper.

Taeyong does exactly that, confused but turned on at the prospect of Baekhyun fucking his mouth with his long, pretty fingers. _I’ll never be able to watch him hold a mic._ It’s an absurd thought, one that disappears once Taeyong pushes his fingers deeper in his mouth. It’s almost instinct, natural—what Taeyong is meant to do, to test his gag reflex. When he does it, he thinks of how it would feel to have Baekhyun’s dick this deep in his mouth and deeper than that, down his throat.

He opens his eyes, and he pants, coming down slightly. There’s only so far Taeyong’s fingers can go, only so much pressure he can do to himself. Although, having his fingers down that far did make him want to gag, it also didn’t feel all that sexy. Maybe because it’s his first time trying something like this? 

But as he takes his dick in his hand to coax it back up again, he feels that simmer in his belly at the image of Baekhyun’s dick on his tongue.

Taeyong is on his knees in front of Baekhyun, his fingers digging into his thighs to stop himself from touching himself, letting the delicious ache in the base of his groin grow, and to stop himself from touching more of Baekhyun. He has the wide crown of Baekhyun’s dick in the cavern of his mouth, resting hot and heavy on his tongue. Salty and tangy. He’s breathing loudly through his nose, struggling to take deep breaths that expand the entirety of his lungs because he’s so eager. He wants to make Baekhyun come, to make him lose his cool. Not that he doesn’t find Baekhyun in control sexy. 

Taeyong is always so eager. It doesn’t matter how many times they’ve been here. He loves this. Loves being on his knees for Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun hasn’t told him that he can’t touch himself or touch Baekhyun’s dick. Baekhyun has never said anything about what Taeyong can or can’t do. Taeyong is the one who has chosen not to, to keep his hands on his thighs even though he is vibrating underneath his skin.

They have yet to do any of that stuff together—where Baekhyun commands him to do or not to do stuff because Baekhyun _wants_ it, because Baekhyun gets off on it, or because Taeyong _wants_ it and wants to lose himself, wants to give up control. They haven’t done any of that…but… Taeyong doesn’t reject the idea of doing that one day. He has watched a couple videos and has wondered how it would be, what they could do. He knows they’re heading that way with the way their sex has changed. He and Baekhyun love exploring the ways that they can be together, fuck each other, get each other off, when they are away from prying eyes. 

No Taeyong does not reject the idea of doing that one day.

Baekhyun’s gaze is heavy and transparent with his greed. Baekhyun is overwhelmed with the need to stuff Taeyong full, to take what he wants—he can almost picture it, holding Taeyong face-down on the bed with his wrists behind him, tight in one of his hands as Baekhyun fucks him, fast and hard, hitting his prostate, then slow, making sure to drag the crown against Taeyong’s walls, and then speeding up once Taeyong starts to catch his breath, sag against the sheets, taking and taking as their skin slaps against each other, and Taeyong is whining for release. 

But Baekhyun doesn’t. 

Today is not about that.

It’s about once again letting Taeyong try and take him deep in his mouth so that he can actually deep throat him. It’s about watching over Taeyong even as he pushes himself. It’s about being here so that Taeyong does not take it too far. 

Baekhyun’s read about it. Subdrop. The way Taeyong gets after choking on his dick. They’ve talked about it. Taeyong knows what to do if it becomes too much. Baekhyun trusts him to let him know. But… _still_ …

Baekhyun is ready to take care of him. 

This, however, doesn’t stop Baekhyun from enjoying the wet heat as Taeyong licks his dick, chokes on it, and swallows around it as much as he wants as Baekhyun drinks in Taeyong’s red face, so flushed, eyes so brown, so big, and so shiny with unshed tears. Taeyong is a vision, and Baekhyun does his best to be strong so that he can last and let Taeyong wear him down like he wants.

The bottom of Baekhyun belly quivers, lust licking a scorching path down his spine before spreading, yet, Baekhyun’s eyes don’t waver, fixed upon Taeyong’s unblinking brown ones, full of unabashed desire. It’s enough to drive any man crazy. Taeyong is making these choked little sounds like he can’t get enough. (And maybe that’s exactly it—Taeyong has said so before, whispered it in his ear as they’ve sat in the middle of meetings for SuperM, in the middle of a room full of their friends and members, against the mirrors in practice rooms as they steal a moment for themselves.)

Baekhyun would laugh if he could because he loves a good joke, _irony_ , but he can’t, doing his best to keep breathing among the uncontrolled beating of his heart against his ribs. He grunts as he digs his teeth into his bottom lip, and he stares into these unabashed eyes he once thought made Taeyong look surprised, innocent, pure—the same look that made Baekhyun want to befriend him, want to protect him, to make sure that Taeyong was always taken care of.

Baekhyun wonders if this counts—as he holds onto his breath and grasps onto his control—as taking care of Taeyong. He wonders if this counts, to let Taeyong swallow around his dick as it hits the back of Taeyong’s throat, because he loves how Taeyong looks with his lips stretched out, full to the brim with his throbbing cock. 

Taeyong forces himself to swallow around Baekhyun’s dick by relaxing his jaw because he loves the pain that settles at the corner of his lips, the growing ache in his jaw, and the stretch of his mouth. Loves knowing that he’ll feel Baekhyun hours later even when they’re done. When he brushes his teeth and they have breakfast, and if he’s lucky, when they have dinner. 

Taeyong loves the floaty feeling he gets as Baekhyun begins to thrust in his mouth, slow and then faster, bringing one of his elegant hands to press against the side of his neck. It helps him focus. His world narrows, making Baekhyun the only important thing. 

He gets more turned on at the thought that Baekhyun wants to feel him swallow when Baekhyun presses his hand harder against Taeyong’s neck as he twists his other hand in his hair to keep him still, to use him as Baekhyun chases his orgasm. Taeyong loves that while not being able to breathe, and giving up control, Baekhyun has finally lost control of his. 

Even though, his vision starts to spot, Taeyong holds on because he loves the look of abandon that overtakes Baekhyun’s face as his orgasm begins to break through the confident, cocky attitude he displayed as he stared at Taeyong while he took Baekhyun in his mouth. Although Taeyong loves Baekhyun when he’s serious, confident, bordering on arrogant, he loves this more, takes more pleasure in being the reason that Baekhyun comes undone. 

Taeyong comes when the last drops of Baekhyun’s cum hit his face, the instant rush of oxygen triggering his orgasm. It’s immense, a mini explosion, and all he can do is scream and fall forward into Baekhyun’s arms as his cock jerks. 

“Fuck, Taeyong,” he hears Baekhyun swear in his ear as he helps Taeyong stand up. “You’re crazy.” 

Taeyong smiles. He knows he almost went too far because for a brief moment, he lost consciousness.

He knows they’ll have to talk about it, but for now, he lets Baekhyun’s caresses on his arm, his throat, and his lips lead him to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you for reading my fic. Please leave comments and kudos! 
> 
> While, I don't know if I'll write more of this verse, but if I do, consider it a surprise! (I was also motivated to share this fic because everyone was so kind to my first fic with Baekhyun and Taeyong. I treasure and appreciate all that love. 🥺)
> 
> I just want to say one thing before you go, please do not take anything that happened within this fic as sex advice because I am not an expert. Always be informed when it comes to practicing anything with your partner(s).


End file.
